The Great Day
Today my father-in-law, Dale, had the greatest day of his life. He was surrounded by people who loved him and, after an interminable time (or so it seemed to those watching), he closed his eyes and began the real adventure. He is now with Jesus. Happy Valentine's Day!!
He was definitely a larger-than-life type of guy. One of eight sharecropping children, he always had an idea for a business to start or a tool to design or a new way to do something. Door-to-door fruit salesman during the Dust Bowl in California comes to mind.
He was opinionated, pushy, determined, and, probably, overly self-confident. He could hold a grudge. And, was he ever ornery!! But, he was a hard worker. And when the grand babies came around to his house, he was the one rocking them in the recliner--while both the baby and the grandpa slept (with the TV remote in hand). He took care of widows and women who had unexpectedly become single once again. He taught my kids to drive...sort of...stick shift out in the field. He hosted hot dog roasts out in his field.
People either loved him or hated him. Not much in between.
He was a good father-in-law to me. Sometimes I "gave it" back to him just as much as he dished it out. The weekend I first met him he decided to change into his ever-present coveralls right in front of me!! And when Loy and I told him we were getting married, his comment? "You don't have to, do you?" (We didn't.)
Both of my parents died when I was in my '20's. At that time Dolores told me that she told God, "She's ours now." And they treated me that way. I was their daughter. I've known them longer than I knew my own parents.
From Gelbvieh cows to rock quarries to dial locks to generators to muzzle loading rifles...he was always interested in new products, new businesses, new ideas, new ways to make money. I totally get that constant level of ideas.
And gardening...that was probably his passion. A HUGE garden, always. In Centerville it had an 8 foot (or so) chain link fence around it to keep deer out. In Sioux Falls it took over almost the entire back yard. And, even in the midst of dementia, he designed an irrigation system that took the sump pump water and put it on the garden, via PVC pipe and joints and toggle switches.
He could grow just about anything. Beans, watermelons, tomatoes, onions, and okra were the staples. Okra...now there's a vegetable I had no idea existed--in my upper Midwest upbringing. But he grew it and, as was his way, insisted I try it. (Result? I like it fried like Dolores does it--hate it slimy.) The last garden obsession he had before moving to Memory Care was some onions he had pilfered from an experimental farm in Alaska. He just "happened" to walk really close to some that were growing in the greenhouse and some bulbs "happened" to find their way into his pocket! He brought those home and they grew and grew. (What were they testing, anyway? Maybe they were radioactive or something!!!) When he couldn't remember anything else he would still tell the story of the Alaska onions!! Again and again. :) He was adamant that everyone had to eat the vegetables he grew. It wasn't until recently I found out he refused to eat his own potato skins!! How did he keep that from me all these years???
I was listening to my iPod today and this song came up. I have always loved it (it is really about the Second Coming of Jesus) but today it just struck me that this describes what Dale experienced today. Claimed by God, Dale faced something we all will face at some time. No exceptions.
Dale is now seeing his true love, Jesus, on Valentine's Day. He is praising God! One of Loy's memories is how he would stand next to Dale in church during hymn singing. Dale had a loud, loud, LOUD singing voice and knew all the words. Loy figured his dad was the best singer in the whole church! BUT...when Loy grew older he realized that Dale was an awful singer. Just loud. So, now Dale is having angels teach him how to sing!
Did the story of Dale's "footprints tell that he was walking well?" I think so. He was generous. He was a hard worker. He loved God. He WAS human, but he knew Jesus and tried to do what was right.
The man I knew has been gone for several years. Dementia is a hard thing to watch. It strips everything from a person...memory, ability to laugh, mobility, dignity, pride, modesty. But now he is whole and happy and, I believe, he is saying it was worth it all. But it's the end of an era here on earth.
I have pondered why God kept him here for so long--after the real "Dale" was gone. I think maybe it is that it wasn't all about Dale at that point. It was about us. How we loved him.
"The Great Day"
We met pain in a garden where we lived a lie
We met hope in a manger and a baby’s cry
Rescued by hands bleeding grace
Are we ready to see His face?
On the great day
He will come to claim us with a rushing wind
Blown like fields of wheat, the world will bow and bend
Held between our joy and disbelief
Every trembling heart will finally face the same way
On the great day
One day Love will wear the crown; one day Love will set us free
Hands up high and faces down; angels teaching us to sing
He will be King, He will be King
He who scattered us on every distant shore
He will gather us unto Himself once more
Let the story of our footprints tell
We were walking well, holding high Your name
Until the great day
One day Love will wear the crown; one day Love will set us free
Hands up high and faces down; angels teaching us to sing
He will be King, He will be King
He will be the new sunrise
Steal the darkness from our eyes
When we fail to find the words
Holy, Holy we will cry
He will be the new sunrise
Holy, Holy we will cry
On the great day
So, good bye, Dale. Have a great day! I will miss you.
Love, your daughter, Kitt.
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