7-21-16 Twinkling??? Nah.

This advertising of my desire to be a "twinkly" old person can be a burden for me to bear.

Twinkly? Today, not so much.

We are in the process of moving--trying to keep the old house clean while we live in it and pack boxes. Not just clean. House-showing clean.

You know the drill...vacuum the carpet with the sole purpose of leaving vacuum marks (and try doing that with two doggies who view it as the fulfillment of their life purpose to bark at the vacuum, running back and forth as it goes over the carpet.) Wipe down the bathrooms, hiding all signs of life, such as toothbrushes and used washcloths and dirty clothes. Spritzing some Glade...judging the amount...enough to make it smell good, not enough so that they notice that it is Glade. Erase all signs of dogs living in the house...water bowl, kennels, beds...all into the car with us. As well as the dogs in the car with us. We've only had two people look at it so far, and they were considerate enough to look one right after the other. But another showing tomorrow. And a showing is a good thing, right?...just a lot of work.

And taking care of the financial aspects of buying a house. Loy had gone to the bank last week to tell them what we needed and they agreed. I would just have to go in and tell them I needed it today. Nope. The banker could not even remember Loy going in there. Big black mark on his reputation in our house!!! They grilled me about who the title company was (had I met with them in person?) and ended up calling the realtor just to verify that it was all legitimate. I should be glad they are taking so many safeguards to protect people. I'm just annoyed.

The yard needs weeding. The windows need to get dog booger smudges off them. The fence guy hasn't called back. Neither has the landscaper. Grrr.

I have bunches of stuff I want to sell, but don't want to have a garage sale and people are not responding to some of my ads on Craigslist. They just won't fit in the new house. How terrible. I have so much stuff that it won't fit in the house anymore. Boo hoo.

And, to top it all off, my splurge was to have the packing done FOR US. That estimate came back today. Wow. Ouch. I may be free-spending, but not even I would spend that much! So I had to get boxes and start packing myself. Boo hoo. Poor me. I have to do all this work to get a new, beautiful lake house. Waaaaaaaah.

My allergies have kicked it up a notch (I really didn't remember that I have summer allergies. I thought it was just spring.) My head is pounding every time I bend over or stand up. I am taking medicine, but it makes me kind of non-motivated. I'd rather sleep or read a book. I look a lot like this:

I am blogging because that cheers me up. It makes me see things in a different light. 

If I decided to forget my complaints,  to put away my sad face and be cheerful, --Job 9:27  (Ok, I took that one way out of context...it really has no meaning in this situation at all.) But, I believe that it is my choice whether to let myself be overwhelmed by all the things that need to happen before we move into this Dream House. As Elisabeth Elliot said, "Do the next thing." That's all I have to do. 

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in a time of need.--Proverbs 17:17  You ARE helping by reading my tales and grumps of woe! 

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.--Proverbs 15:30 So now I'll just smile maniacally while I stuff each and every box...that ought to do it!

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.--Proverbs 17:22 That's why I just want to lie on the couch and worry, rather than taking some action and getting some things done. 

Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.--Proverbs 25:20 So, what I DON'T need is you singing cheerful songs to me tonight! Or telling me how you knew your move was God-ordained because your house sold in 20 minutes. Or telling me that I'm so blessed (which I know I am). 

What do I need? I need you to pat me on the back (metaphorically) and tell me, "Oh...poor Kitt. You'll get through this." 

And I need you to see this picture which always brings a smile to my face...my little loves right before we did a 5k in Dallas last month. (Notice how I worded that. "We DID a 5k." I can say that and people just assume I ran a 5k. Ha!! I walked, and not all that fast. But I sure DID it. 

OK, it's working. I'm starting to sense a little twinkle coming on...time to go pack a box or two.

Love,

Kitt.

7-19-16 Trust me.

I know. I know. I just this second published a blog. But that one was dull and just about my travels and I wanted to tell you another story I've been mulling...

My father-in-law, Dale, was a sharecropper's son in Arkansas/Oklahoma, one of eight children. He got an engineering degree and moved to Nebraska where he started a business (Ag-Tronic) with one of his brothers.

I wish you could have known him. He was energetic. He was smart. He worked hard (I actually think maybe too hard--where was the fun??) He was always full of ideas of ways to make things better. He invented tools to fit a need. Smart, independent man. Sure, rather bossy and domineering...he wanted things done his way, no compromise.

Dementia.

It is heartbreaking. He would be so mortified to see what he has become. He cannot speak anymore, cannot walk. Falls multiple times per week because he won't give up his independence and use the walker or wheelchair. Oftentimes he can't feed himself. He is angry and frustrated. Very angry and frustrated.

My mother-in-law, Dolores, takes such great care of him. She visits the memory care facility daily and combs and cleans and lotions and brushes his teeth and changes him. She gives him kisses and hugs (which, despite all he's lost, he still loves).

Some might ask, "Why is God keeping him here to suffer like this?" And I have pondered that also. I think I've come to the conclusion that it is not about Dale anymore. Maybe God wants to see me show love and caring for this vulnerable person. Maybe it's to teach me things. Just a thought...

When Dale was still living at home he would not listen to reason. He would be determined to saw through a pipe or shovel snow in -40 degree windchill. I'm sure my MIL wanted to say, "I know you don't agree with me right now, but can't you just trust me?"

I wrote that phrase to her the other day about an issue. Later she emailed me back and said that she had prayed to God for guidance and then read my email. She viewed it as a sign from God!!! I called a couple of my kids and told them, "GRANDMA SAYS I'M THE VOICE OF GOD!!!! You should listen to all my emails and words and obey them!!!" :) Neither one was convinced. Neither was Loy. I'm totally unappreciated!!!!

But this got me to thinking about trust. What does it take for a person to trust someone?

1. I've got to know them.
2. I've got to have a history with them acting in ways that foster my trust.
3. I've got to have confidence that they know what they're talking about.
4. I've got to let go of my own ideas, feelings, actions.

It's not something they can just tell me and I will. It takes the action to back it all up.

So...if I want to trust God more I've got to:

1. Get to know Him.
2. Read about ways He's been faithful and trustworthy in the past--in the Bible. Also, think about ways in my own life He's already shown His trustworthiness.
3. I've just got to decide that He is worthy...that He knows more about things than I.
4. I've got to let go.

I usually don't want to let go--I mean, people should listen to ME, right??? Basically, I guess I don't want to trust. It's scary. It doesn't always make sense, logically.

But, I don't know everything. (I know, this shocks you.)

He is God.

I am not.

Here's to developing more trust in God!!!

Kitt.

6-2016 And so it begins...

Well, I'm obviously not doing too great a job of keeping a journal of our travels during this sabbatical year!!

June began with Loy and I heading to Door County, Wisconsin. We have had that on the "Must Be Visited" list for years and finally decided to do it. We rented a cottage clear on the upper point, in Gill's Rock. It was lovely up there--very cool (literally and figuratively) and we were right on the water, which we love.

So, what did we do in Door County?? We took the ferry to Washington Island and saw Schoolhouse Beach (one of only five beaches in the WORLD that has this particular type of rock on the beach, sort of like a rounded cobblestone. If you take one home, $250 fine!!! Glad someone told us this before I increased my rock collection!). We ate at a fish boil, a very Door County kind of thing:

 

They put the fish and potatoes and whatnot into this big pot of boiling water. Then they throw kerosene on the fire and you get a huge fireball. It's kind of cool to watch, but the food is so-so. Did it. Glad. Don't need to do it ever again.

With much fear and trepidation I went to a breast cancer survivor's retreat the last part of the week. It was a wonderful experience and now I am all inspired to try to start one out here in Nebraska. I could write an entire blog about the experience, and probably will!

Next, we went to Dallas (the entire family went!) for the Engagement Party of Paul and Beth. They've been seeing each other for over 1-1/2 years, so we were thrilled when they decided to get married! Next June 17 is THE DAY. I told Paul he was taking quite a lot for granted when he planned this surprise engagement party. I mean, he was assuming she'd say "Yes." His response? "She will say "Yes."

On the way home from Dallas we stopped in Arkansas to visit my sister, Bunny, and her warren. (She's got 13 children.) We had Luke with us, so he had the time of his life playing with Kenny, his bud, and some of the other kids. My brother, Den, and his wife, Gail, came over to visit with us. We basically watched as my brother faded away that afternoon. Later he was diagnosed with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever!! Poor guy!

Our next trip was to Lake Okoboji with Jenna's family. We'd never been to Okoboji during tourist season and it is quite a sight to behold. People everywhere! We had a wonderful view of the fireworks done at Arnold's Park. Played mini-golf (they are a very competitive bunch). Snacked. Played dominoes and Apples to Apples. Talked, lots. It was a great weekend!

And, last weekend we went to Sioux Falls to visit Loy's parents, Grant and Angela and cutie patooties, and Paul and Beth (who had flown up for a quick visit). I apologize that all of you don't have as cute of grandkids as I do. In my mind, mine are obviously superior!! :)

Upcoming trips:  Loy to Washington DC for a baseball trip with Grant and his buddy, Matt. Loy to Minneapolis with Grant for more baseball. Loy and Kitt take Amtrak to Portland, Oregon. Loy and Kitt go to Thousand Island, NY, then to Pittsburgh. Loy goes to Albuquerque. Loy goes to England. Loy and Kitt go to Phoenix. Whew...

And, in unrelated news...we just purchased our Dream Home on a lake north of Ashland, Nebraska.

Who knew there were sand beaches in eastern Nebraska??? We close on the house on July 25 and hope to be in shortly after that. Lots to do between now and then!!! I'm procrastinating by blogging today. 

I'm reading this and thinking, "Man, this is dull." Sorry about that!!

But, you can plan to come visit us...

Kitt.